Anonymous said: Let's review your hypocrisy here: you think it's racist to simply not be attracted to most of a certain race, yet you think it's not sexist to not be attracted to a gender. You've completely invalidated your entire tirade in one go, as if it weren't already. Furthermore, you brag about how you date "other races" as though you've won a marathon. This is great for you; however, it doesn't warrant to accuse others of wrongdoing because they have a sexual preference. Are gays sexist by your logic?



I mean, gay males MUST be sexist! They wouldn’t dare touch a woman! Let’s fill in the blanks with women and black people. “I’m not attracted to ___ because that doesn’t fall within the realm of my sexual preferences.” You say one is okay, and one isn’t. You’re ignorant, in addition to be arrogant.

Okay let’s start off by restating that sexuality and race are completely different. If you’re gay or straight, then you’re excluding one gender not because you’re prejudiced, but because that is your SEXUALITY. You cannot help that you are attracted to men or women or both. That is something that you are born with. If you are excluding a race, it’s not because of the sexuality aspect. They have all the aspects that you require to be pleasured, etc. It is simply because of their skin color. Not every person of one race looks the same. If you say that you won’t date anyone except white boys, are you thinking of Dylan O’Brien or Steve Buscemi? They’re both white, but do they look the same? No. Same thing goes for other races. There’s FRANK OCEAN, Denzel Washington, Drake, Donald Glover, Idris Elba, Shemar Moore, Will Smith, Michael Ealy, Damon Wayans Jr., Jesse Williams, Michael B. Jordan, and the list goes on. I repeat again NOT EVERY PERSON OF ONE RACE LOOKS THE SAME. The fact that you even think that sexuality and race are comparable shows how absolutely ignorant, close minded, and dull your views are. 

Also, I didn’t brag about dating different races. I simply said “I’ve dated so many races.” Sorry that set you over the edge, though. 

Sexuality: what you’re sexually attracted to
Preference in race: what you’re sexually attracted to
Preference in height: what you’re sexually attracted to
Preference in personality: what you’re sexually attracted to

Just because they don’t all look the same doesn’t mean they don’t all have the same thing in common: their complexion.

If I’m not attracted to dark-skinned people, that’s a part of my sexual preference. SEXUAL. PREFERENCE. Sexual. Preference.

If I’m not attracted to light-skinned people, that’s a part of my sexual preference.

If I don’t want to date someone of a certain race because I’m not physically attracted to them, it’s literally no different than me not wanting to date someone who is shorter than me. It’s just a physical characteristic, yes, but it’s one that matters to me. I’m not sexually attracted to guys that are shorter than me.


I usually try to stay away from these posts, but being a person of colour, this is something that really strikes a chord with me. Here’s why.

Hypothetically, If you want to treat people like objects and say that you won’t have sex with a coloured person because that’s not sexually attractive, fine. That’s preference. 

Here’s what’s racist. Coloured people are SO much more than their skin that covers their bones. You could find the man or woman of your DREAMS, but you would totally miss out because he was black or asian. That’s what’s racist. It’s that we don’t get a chance because you are saying that you wouldn’t date us BEFORE you get to know us. Just because of our skin colour. The judgement precedes the knowledge, and that’s prejudice. That’s what’s racist about it.

That is the definition of racism: Being unable to see past a person’s skin colour to see the PERSON. By the way, if you fall in love with a coloured person, all of a sudden, that PERSON becomes your sexual preference. Love is blind, and it doesn’t care about the height, complexion, or shade a person is. Racism isn’t blind, and that’s why this is an issue. 

TL;DR: Saying, “I wouldn’t date a coloured person.” equals, “There’s so much more to white people/ I don’t like how I would LOOK standing next to a black guy.” 

Dear Older Siblings,

You have a precious influence over your young brothers and sisters. Whether you like it or not, they look up to you. You might not notice this or they may not notice it themselves, but they are waiting for your approval and affirmation. Instead of viewing them as children (even if they are teenagers or young adults), see who they will be in the future. Call out the potential in them. Reveal to them the skills and talents that they have and can develop. Open up their minds and hearts to the adventures of life. It’s a brutal world out there, and people will tear them down. You know that. So fight against that war that is going on inside their heads. Let them know that they are valuable and they are meant to thrive. 

No one gets to spend such a large amount of time with them as you do. Spend it wisely. Don’t waste it.


Hushed voices in the hallway at midday
At night, a baby is crying next door
At the height of busyness, pain holds at bay
Waiting to overflow the heart forevermore

What other loneliness could be a mystery
Except for the kind that replaces home
Between the heavy suitcases, we cradle misery
Forsaking the light now turned to chrome

This kind of life is my heart inside
I am the hotel rooms and the sleepless nights
At times vacant and silent as joy hides
Then filled with tenants with desires contrite

Be still my beating, broken heart
Learn to appreciate familiarity
Growth may come from falling apart
When pieces are settled from calamity

Take me back to the white picket fence
Childish dreams and true love wait
Fix my eyes on what makes sense
Demolish these rooms that seal my fate


Giant Cities, Small Windows



It’s not currency, but it’s the most valuable thing to spend

If you use it right, you will have wrinkles on your smile

And a light in your eyes

But if you spend it wrong

It will destroy you.

Because time doesn’t wait for you to say goodbye

When there’s a shooting at your university

Or planes flying into buildings

It’s viciously apathetic to tragedy

Time doesn’t wait for you to push out

The I-love-you’s and will-you-marry-me’s

The words crushed by your tightened lips may stay

But time quickly slips away.

Because time is the sand

You could try to hold every grain

From every beach and shore you came across

But they would seep out of your tired, worn fingers

So treat it with respect

Because you never know how much you have left

Until you’re a memory of those who have a little more


It’s not currency, but it’s the most valuable thing to spend.


I Am The Hourglass

How will you love your enemies when you can’t even get along with people you disagree with? 

Anonymous Asked: I struggle with the idea of God loving me. With grace. With truly being forgiven. I’ve been a believer for a long time but I still wrestle with these doubts all. the. time. I feel like should have moved on from this a long time ago. I’m worn out. Any advice for someone struggling to rest in Grace?

I Said:

Thank you for being honest and for seeking help. I have a few thoughts that I want you to remember every day of your life.

First, a teaching that you should write on your heart:

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins.”2 Peter 1:5-9

I don’t know you. So what I’m about to say may be wrong, but I’m going to give it my best shot. The truth is that you are forgetting His all-forgiving grace because you are focusing on yourself. If you took time to pray and simply thank God for allowing you to breathe, smile, see wonder and beauty, and tell loved ones about it, you would see His love and grace. If you took the time to learn more about Him and sacrifice your time and efforts for others, you would see His grace. I’m not saying that He gives grace when we do good things. But when we open our hands to do good things, we open our hearts to understanding the compassion and mercy of God. I’ll tell you this: I don’t learn anything about God when I look at myself, but I learn everything about Him when I look at Him. Instead of listening to doubts and indirectly telling God that He doesn’t love you, listen to Him because He says he loves you. Look to Jesus and learn from Him and you will learn of His great love for us.

Another Scripture you need to be aware of:

And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, ‘Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God.’” – Revelation 12:10

In Christianity, we believe that there’s a devil who is prowling as a lion, looking to devour the good in this world. Would it be unordinary for him to convince you to doubt the goodness of God? Has he not done that since the Fall of Man? Realize that there is more going on than what you see. Every time you doubt the love of Christ, realize that you are just playing right into the devil’s hands. Every time you doubt the love of Christ, pray that this temptation to refuse the goodness of God is a lie. Do not lie to yourself and do not allow yourself to be lied to.

I don’t know your story, but I do know God’s grace. In my limited human nature, I cannot possibly fathom how much He loves us. From what Christ has said, I do know that it extends past what I can do. Jesus never said to anyone, “Is that the best you can do? You’re pathetic.” Instead, He said “Deny yourself and follow me.” He isn’t asking you to live better. He’s asking you to live differently. He’s asking you to live in relationship with Him.

The point is this: God’s grace is more than just forgiving your sin. God’s grace frees you to receive a better life than you could ever hope for. God isn’t looking for those with a perfect record to give grace to. He is looking for the captured and bound. He is looking for slaves to set free. That is love. That is Grace.

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” – John 8:36

God Bless and much love,

Samuel Assaf

Jesus Christ: The God who suffered, and the God who suffers with us.

Who received a gift of love from you today?

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." - Matthew 25:40

There is beauty in tragedy. Let us look to Jesus who endured the highest price for His sheep, even for the worst sinners of them all. Although He endured a false trial, false torture, and false execution, He turned what was intended for evil into the highest good through His death and resurrection. Behold: He has risen! 

Anonymous Said: From a Christian standpoint, in the context of marriage are acts associated with BDSM ok? Now, there are some things that obviously are not ok. So maybe think more along the lines of domestic discipline. Say you have a dominate personality and your partner a submissive one is taking on those roles in and outside of the bedroom ok? Or say your a sadist and a your partner is a masochist, is inflicting pain or asking your partner to inflict pain ok?

I said:

Thanks for the question! I will explain what a Christian marriage is and what it isn’t. The Bible doesn’t necessarily mention what can and cannot be done during sex, but it does give us guidelines that we can live by. Feel free to read Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 7, and the entire book of Song of Solomon. 

The Christian faith does not contain a rulebook for what can and cannot be done during sex. The point of sex is to unify and join together the husband and wife. It is not there for mere pleasure and self-gratification, but it is to serve one another in the most affectionate, passionate way possible.

Having said that, the purpose of the Christian marriage is to serve one another and never to dominate. Outside of the bedroom, a desire to control and dominate a spouse is not what Christ intended with His image of marriage. He intended to show how He gave up Himself for His church by having the husband and wife serve each other with love. Inside of the bedroom, the Bible leaves room for role-play and what have you, but the point of sex is to unify together, not to dominate or “get what you can.”

As well, pornography has had a large influence on society for what “good” sex looks like. It paints the picture that sex is for self-pleasure, and not to lovingly serve a spouse and enjoy each other. Sex ought to be selfless, not selfish. As the porn industry grew, it created more and more “extreme” forms of sexual acts in order to grab attention and offer something new. While it may have looked attractive, it was and is hurting many of the women who act in it. Now, men and women have a picture for what good sex looks like, and it has everything to do with the acts performed instead of the spouse that they have committed their lives to. It is selfish, not selfless. If you are hurting your spouse, you must repent and remember that sex is done in glory to God, and what is done selfishly can only gratify the flesh but never a renewed spirit.

Without getting into detail, there are different degrees of what is considered painful and what draws the line between fun and harmful. Communication is important, so a talk with your spouse and some marriage counseling with your pastor is the best advise I could give. Some guidelines are:

1. Am I being demanding and selfish with my behavior?

2. Am I using my spouse in order to get what I want?

3. Am I allowing society and pornography to pervert my perception of sex?

4. Do I care more about myself or about my spouse, in and out of the bedroom?

I hope this helped. I’d have to have an actual conversation with you concerning this topic because it is rather broad, so feel free to shoot me an E-mail if you want to continue the discussion. You can find my address in my description. If you are looking for a Christian who is married, I suggest my friend, Johnnyis.

If you have any questions or comments concerning anything else, feel free to ask.

God Bless,

Samuel Assaf

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil."

— Ephesians 4:26-27

"I don’t want to know where I’d be without forgiveness brushing these adulterous lips."

— As Cities Burn

Christians, don’t be as disobedient children. Listen to your Father before He raises His voice. (Jonah 2)

"Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them."

— Jonah 2:8

"He taught us to give life and love a wife like He loved the Church, without seeing how many hearts we can break first."

— Lecrae, Just Like You